Finding Balance- A baby, a Bell, and everything in between!

I decided I wanted to change direction with how I write on this thing, and in doing so I hope it inspires me to post a little more often.

Obviously, my number one priority in life is my family- Dann, Ashtyn, and my fury kids Lacey and Bella, that I think goes without saying.
Next comes my career, life in the corporate grind has its ups and downs, but all in all I work for a great company and my job revolves around SHOES, all things considered you can't ask for more.

Then there are the things that I do/ NEED to keep a balance on the fore-mentioned family and career. Besides books that have the ability to put me in a different time and place as someone else, or me writing the ridiculousness that I come up with in my own head (and I assure you, its ridiculous) I've found a passion in a iron ball with a handle that weighs about 30lbs. It has already started to change my life in ways I didn't really think possible.

I picked up a Kettlebell for the first time in March of 2009. I was watching the movie "Never Back Down" and in their training they used these cannonball looking things. I Googled it, discovered www.dragondoor.com, and in turn found the name of a guy that taught an Intro to Kettlebells class. I had NO idea what to expect, but the guy seemed cool so I made Dann come with me and we gave it a shot.
Considering after the first class I couldn't walk for 4 days, yet I had this urge to go back and do it again I knew I had discovered something I could get into. So a couple days a week, we would go, and in a short amount of time I saw results that I had never seen before in the areas of strength and cardio endurance. (I point this out because I've been an athlete for most of my life, and I've trained in tons of different ways, yet this one object was shaping something that I hadn't gotten with all of the other techniques.)
Everything was going really well, I enjoyed my workouts and was in class 2-3 days a week, then in January of 2010 I found out I was pregnant. For my first trimester I continued with morning classes, and pushed to a limit I felt comfortable with (funny story, Dave was one of the only people we told I was pregnant for a LONG time, he actually knew long before family and friends) Anyway, after my first trimester going to the gym started happening less and less, Dave was sharing gym space and the times I could get in he wasn't the one teaching. After one workout that pissed me off more then made me feel good I just stopped going. I was afraid I was going to hurt myself or my baby, and at that point I was so angry that I needed to just walk away. I missed it tremendously, but for the time being I had other things to focus on.
Fast forward to about July, I got an email from Dave telling me somethings had changed at the gym, and if I chose not to come back he understood. We took a fifth of Crown Royal (for Dann and Dave) over one night and in 90+ degree heat, almost 9m pregnant I knew that as soon as my little lady arrived I'd be back in that gym hitting the iron just like I had done before.
Sure enough, once my doctor had cleared me I was back in. With Ashtyn in her car seat (usually napping) I started back at square one. It was painful but liberating, it made me feel great even if I wanted to cry every time I had to walk up and down a flight of stairs. I lost all of the weight I'd gained during my pregnancy by the time I went back to work 12 weeks later, and that 30 minutes 3 days a week made me a happier person. But once I was back at work, balancing that life and nursing, my gym time once again fell to the wayside. I felt guilty if I didn't come strait home after work, going at lunch was a stretch, and getting up in the morning was too much with pumping and getting myself out the door, so I fell off the wagon again, put on 10 lbs, and was unhappy but couldn't really tell you why.

Fast forward again to July of 2011, I had an epiphany of sorts. I needed something for me, that I could do for myself, by myself that allowed me a release. I needed this to be a better mom and a better wife, and I needed it to figure out why I felt unhappy when I had so much to be happy about. I went back to Bluechip Athletic, 530 am, two mornings a week. In a couple of excruciating weeks I started to see results and I felt better.

We took a family vacation in August to San Diego, and I had the privilege of working out at Revolution Fitness in La Jolla with a Senior RKC, and that one workout sent me home with a new focus, a new goal, and a new outlook.
I made the decision in September of this year (with some encouragement of course) to go after the RKC certification in 2012, and in order to do that I had to step it up. I have a smaller (yet equally as important) hill to climb first in completing the HKC in February. While I have confidence in my basic ability I have a ways to go and SO MUCH to learn. Right now my focus is on increasing my strength, and endurance, improving my technique, and doing 5 bloody pull-ups!
I have a great mentor/ teacher in Dave, a great support system from 2n and family, and a drive to complete something that I know is going to test every ounce of physical and mental strength I have. I love a good challenge, and this is at the upper echelon of anything I have ever attempted.

So now that I've bored you all with my story, the reason behind it is this- I am a mom and a wife with a career in corporate America, but I am also still Sara with goals and dreams and a desire to kick some serious ass. To set the best example I can for my young daughter and to raise her the way I want to this is important. I think that a lot of moms feel guilty when they do something for themselves, but the reality is having something that's "yours" will make you a better mom/wife/human. This blog is here for me to write about my balance, feel free to tell me about yours. Until next time

~S~

The thoughts of a working mama...

I'm not sure if its because one year ago at this time I was on maternity leave and it was truly the most relaxing and amazing time of my life, or if now that Ashtyn is really developing her own personality I want to be more apart of it. But whatever the reason I have been fighting a battle with myself and being a full time working mama.
Let me just throw out there that I do have the choice of staying home, but in doing so I forfeit the life I am accustomed to. In theory, we could stay in our 2 bedroom condo for the next 5 years, not have a second baby, not have cable or internet, never go out or on vacation, and overall not be able to enjoy the luxuries that we do now and maybe I would be ok with that. However I am lying to myself if I said I don't enjoy my Starbucks, my DVR, my trips to Colorado, and going shopping for my daughter whenever the mood strikes me.
I busted my ass to get where I am, and I have a lot more potential waiting for me at DSW. I can grow and move on and with that will come more exposure to an industry I love as well as more $$. I still want that, but there are a lot of days that I just wish I could take my daughter to play, hang out with my other mommy friends and their kiddos, not get out of my pajamas because we don't feel like leaving the house that day. I would love to have a clean house, dinner made when Dann gets home, and dogs that get walked more then twice a week (when they're lucky). I want to see my daughter's first steps, not hear about them from her teachers.
On the flip side of the coin, Ashtyn is gaining great social skills and one hell of an immune system at school. The minute she see's Miss Tina and Miss Lynn in the morning Dann and I are chop liver so clearly she likes it there.
For me, I like being around other adults, I like being in the fashion industry, and I like having my own independence. Do all of these things make me a bad mom? Does it make me selfish that I'm not willing to give up "things" for days, months, and years that I will never get back? These are the thoughts that go through my brain at all hours of the day. I watch several women everyday who are incredibly successful professionally balance home and work, and they inspire me. They show me that you can have a high profile job and still be there on your baby's first day of Kindergarten. I just hope that 18+ years from now I don't regret the choices I made, and that my child/ children don't think I'm a terrible mother because I wanted to be able to give them everything and to do that I had to work.
I'm going to stop ranting now, I just needed to get this off my chest.
Ciao!
*Sara*

Update on life, it's been a while!

This has been such a crazy summer, I can't believe it's almost August already! This summer started with my cousin Michelle's wedding, there are now 2 of us on the Kosin side that are married, wahoo! Welcome officially to the family Craig!

Also around that time I got a promotion at work, yay! I moved into the role as Merchandiser for the Women's Better Dress department. For those not familiar with the lingo my job is to merchandise the stores with the goods that the buyer has selected. This department buys product from vendors like Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, and Tahari to name a few. I am so excited to take on a new role, a new challenge, and I have been blessed with a great person to teach me the ropes. That woman should be sainted when its all said and done, and I hope I can convey how thankful I am to have her there to lead me. Oh yeah, and my new boss is awesome, I could not have asked for anyone better to follow up the amazing team that I just left. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up on the professional front.

I spent my first weekend away from Ashtyn over the 4th of July. I feel bad saying that it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and I had a lot of fun. I went up to Michigan and stayed with my family, spent the 3rd with my cousins out on White Lake and experienced a monsoon at the Tigers vs Giants game later that night. Some QT with Zeke, was outstanding. We went to Lake LeAnn on the 4th and spent more time with family, God i love my Uncle Frank!

My brother in law Josh raced at Mid Ohio the following weekend, and we had a full house with all of Dann's family and my parents visiting! Josh finished 11th on the first day, and sadly took 19th on the second. I loved getting to see Josh do what he loves, especially after having to jump some of the hurdles he's faced the last couple years. He is a pretty awesome guy that Josh Galster! We also got a night out thanks to my mother and father in law (Horrible Bosses was H I LARIOU S!!!) Thank you so very much!

Last weekend was the release of Harry Potter, and with my cousin and Aunt we braved the ludicrous crowd to see the double feature starting at 9 and ending after 2am. I need to find time to see the movie again, I loved it! *Tear* I can't believe its over.

I went back to Bluechip Athletics and have started Kettlebell- beat downs once again. Anyone that knows me is aware that I like a good physical challenge, I love a workout that will push me to my physical limit and Dave never disappoints. I walked away after I went back to work just because I couldn't make myself find the time and I had an overwhelming amount of guilt about doing something for me that meant less time with Ashtyn. Now I'm out the door by 515am and home before she wakes up. It makes me feel better, stronger, and happier so while I miss my bed and the gym is hotter then Hell at the moment I want to get back on my way towards RKC and achieving some personal goals.

In between all these things Ashtyn figured out (in no particular order) crawling, pulling herself up, walking with a push toy, climbing the stairs, cutting more teeth, feeding herself, dominating the sippy cup, and basically leaving behind babyhood and entering toddlerhood at a run. I'm not ready for this yet everyday I see that toothy silly grin and love everything about my Ashtyn Lily. I love my life, but by far the very best part is being a mom and sharing it with the best other half a person could ask for. It makes me smile just thinking about it!

We have another crazy couple of weeks coming up with another trip to Michigan, a mommy-kid pool party with friends of ours, vacation to San Diego, and planning a certain little lady's first birthday party.
Maybe fall will slow down a bit... Maybe ;)

~S~

A bittersweet ending...

I don't expect anyone except a mommy that has been there to understand this, but this weekend has marked the end of being a nursing momma. It is a sad and joyous occasion all at once, and I can finally say I am no longer conflicted about the decision to stop.
I have several friends that made it to the 12 months and beyond mark- they are working momma's and stay at home momma's, so either way it is absolutely possible to do it. When I made the decision to nurse, they were my idols, that was what I was striving for. Dann however, always the realist in these occasions told me to make that the overall goal, but set small goals in between.

Goal one was to get her to latch... check.
Goal two was to go a month... Check
Goal three, three months... Check
Goal four, pump at work enough to send to daycare each day... check
Goal five, six months... Check

Once we started introducing solids into Ashtyn's diet I noticed my supply went to hell fast, and then around 7.5 months pumping at work stopped completely. However, goal six was still 9 months... check
By not pumping at work I was still giving her the AM feeding, and her evening feeding which to me still seemed like a good thing. That was working out well until her top two teeth finally dropped. Nursing was incredibly uncomfortable, and Ashtyn's attention span was admirably shorter then that of a butterfly. The evening feeding took a hike right after she turned 9 months old.
Then she started teething again, and uncomfortable went to excruciating. The decision to stop became a no brainer when I feared she might take some of me with her during our next nursing session. Considering my supply had gotten so low I wasn't really that worried about it, and so far I don't seem to be having any issues.
I really enjoyed my time being that sole food source, I wouldn't trade those times with her for anything and I know whenever we welcome Baby Galster #2 I will do it again without any question. I have to admit though, I'm really excited to wear fun bras again, and not having to plan my life around her next feeding is a huge relief.
To all the moms that made it to one year and beyond I applaud you! To all of those that want to nurse their baby, regardless of how long it is a wonderful expereince and truely worth any discomfort and are thinking about taking that route (regardless of how long) it is so worth it!

~S~

Ashtyn's 9 month player profile

On Sunday Miss Ashtyn turned 9 months old, holy cow!
Height/ weight- She is 28 inches tall and weighs in at 17 lbs.
Foods- This girl LOVES her Puffs! Especially the dehydrated yogurt dots, but if it means she can feed herself then she's all for it. About the only thing she doesn't like is mixed green veggies, those are not her fave.
Clothes- 9-12 month pajamas, 6-9 month clothes, and between a 2-3 in shoes.
Teeth- Her top 2 front dropped so we're up to 4 total.
Toys- Her stuffed Bella (although the real puppy is still a bud too), her play table, wubba nub, my car keys, and tubberware (especially the Cool Whip container!)
Fave Activities- Swimming, going on walks in her stroller, giving hugs and kisses, pulling herself into a standing position, bath time, snuggling with her stuffed animals, and feeding herself.

Ashtyn is a very happy, very vocal (my little squawking dinosaur), healthy and smiley little girl. Everyday I get to watch her gears turn as she discovers something new. Her smile can light up the darkest hour of my day, and I am amazed at her dexterity and determination with everything that she tries. I can't believe that 9 months has already gone by, and I can't wait to see what the next nine months and beyond have in store!

Random ramblings

It's now June, this year is almost half over and I really don't even know where it went. My baby will be 9 months old on Sunday, is it sad that I'm in denial? I'm not going to go into too much detail since I plan on posting her 9m player profile early next week, but holy cow! Every single day there's something new, there are times when I look at her and she just seems so grown up. Our sweet baby girl is becoming a very independent and vocal little lady. She is a joy and a pleasure, and without a doubt the thing that makes my day no matter what else is going on. Her laugh, smile, hugs and sloppy kisses are the bestest thing in the entire world!

Then there is the man that is the reason that I have my little monkey- the second best thing in my life, 2n! Dann is such an amazing husband, father, friend, partner, and everything that falls in between. I have moments when I am crazy and neurotic and he just laughs at my absurdity. I have others when I am stressed and sad and he's always there with the best hugs and a bottle of wine. He is my biggest fan, but not afraid to talk me down and put me in my place when I need it. I know I have a "strong personality" and that I can be a lot to handle but he brings out the best in me and loves me at my worst. I don't think you can get any better then that!

There are lots of other exciting things going on in my life right now, but since my world revolves around the above fore mentioned I figured I should start there.
I've been interviewing at work, I'm hopeful that it will turn into a promotion and a new position in the near future. The funny thing is I fought the path I'm heading down for so long that I didn't see how much potential was right in front of me. I've been in my current job for almost 3 years- and I love what I do. I work on a fun team with great people and best of all we buy the fun, young product you see in all of DSW's stores. While it's been fun and educational I've hit the top of what I can do as an MSA. I've said that buying is what I want to do, and I still believe that to be my eventual stop but before I can get there I need to get some experience in Merchandising. I've avoided this step thinking that I could just "skip" it (somehow in my mind that was going to happen, then I realized I work in Corporate America and I have a lot I need to learn). Well skipping isn't really an option, and as I learn more about the Merchandising role the more excited I am to get into it. I know that the job isn't glamorous, but it's something that will put me so far out of my comfort zone that I'm really jazzed. It will also give me a skill set to be one hell of a good buyer once the time comes, watch out everyone! :)

So family and work are what take up most of my time, there's also those two little fury children that live with us also. They've had quite the life change in the last 9 months, and I have to give them a lot of credit for handling it as well as they have. Bella thinks that Ashtyn is her personal puppy, and now that she is capable of handing food off under the table Bella really loves her. Lacey doesn't really pay much attention, as long as she has someone to snuggle with, and someone to feed her she's pretty happy. Last month she had to get 14 of her teeth pulled, my poor pup is going to need some dentures! Thankfully she's adjusted just fine, although eating corn on the cob now poses a bit of a challenge.

Alright, well I could continue rambling but I'm going to wrap this up and enjoy the rest of my evening with Dann. Until next time!

~S~

Ashtyn's 8 month stats-

No picture uploaded yet, but lots of fun things to share!

As of last week Ashtyn weighed 15lbs 8oz, which means she FINALLY doubled her birth weight, yay! No height measurement since 6 months (apparently they don't take that during impromptu ear ache related doctor visits.)

Teeth- 2 of them, bottom front. More on the way, they just haven't broke the skin yet.

Fave Toys- Still Sophie and Wub a Nub along with a stuffed "Bill" and her purple monkey.

Fave Foods- Banana cookies, mommy milk, anything we'll feed her.

Fashionista Faves- 6 month clothes, 9 month jammies, and size 2 shoes.

Movement updates- We have a bouncer, our lady likes to bounce! She still hates tummy time, but she holds herself up really well. She also likes to be standing up, though that requires someone to assist in getting her in that position. I know that having a mobile baby is in my near future so I'm enjoying the view while I can.

Fave fury animals- Sesame Street! We'll turn it on for short increments, and as soon as she hears Elmo her attention locks on wherever its coming from. I'm hopeful we can skip the whole Dora faze in favor of "Sunny days, chasing the clouds away..."

Anything else- Ashtyn likes to swim, give hugs, laugh, make you laugh, stick things in her mouth, chew on her toes, and make lots of noise both with her voice and with her hands.

At 8 months we have a smiley, silly, happy little lady, and Dann and I are blown away by something it seems everyday.